Die "Ferengi Rules of Acquisition" inkl. Quellenangabe
The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition, complete with episodes and characters attributed to quoting them, books that quoted them, and the rules made by online participants during the rules of netquisition contest. Enjoy!
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Sources:
1. Rom, "The Nagus"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. The Klingon Way
4. The Federation Travel Guide
5. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 1999-12-18
1. If they want their money back, give it to them.
Source:
Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive" (*)
2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
2. The Biology of Star Trek
3. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-02
3. I found it; it's mine.
Source:
Nog, Prisoners of Peace
4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Sources:
1. Zek, "The Nagus"
2. Odo, Saratoga
3. Quark, Rom, and Dax, Wrath of the Prophets
4. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the Wedding of Doom" (comic)
5. Quark, Vengeance (*)
6. Rom and Quark, Double Helix #2: Vectors
7. Star Trek on the Brain
7. Keep your ears open.
Sources:
1. Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"
2. Ben Sisko, "The Siege of AR-558"
8. Small print leads to large risk.
Source:
Rules
8. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
Source:
Vung, Warchild
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Sources:
1. Nog, "The Storyteller"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Nog, The Pet
4. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
5. Quark, The Heart of the Warrior
6. Narrator, "Life's Lessons"
10. Greed is eternal.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Prophet Motive"
2. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
3. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
10. Greed is dead.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
11. Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Sources:
1. The Making of ST:DS9
2. Rules
14. not given?
Source:
Nog, "Life's Lessons"
15. Keep your family close; keep your latinum closer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
16. A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Melora"
2. Nog, Highest Score
3. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
17. A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi.
Source:
Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Sources:
1. Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
4. Quark, "Ferengi Love Songs"
5. Quark, Double Helix #2: Vectors
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Meridian"
2. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
20. Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
21. Never place friendship before profit.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Star Trek on the Brain
3. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 1999-12-24
21. Never place profit before friendship.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Cardassian Imps
3. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
4. Quark, The 34th Rule
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
23. Money can never replace dignity.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
24. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
25. There's always a way out.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
26. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
29. What's in it for me?
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (Insult something he cares about, instead.)
Source:
Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Sources:
1. Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Odo, Saratoga
34. War is good for business.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Destiny"
2. Ezri Dax, "The Siege of AR-558"
3. Quark, The 34th Rule (*)
4. Quark, Rebels #3: The Liberated
35. Peace is good for business.
Sources:
1. Dax, "Destiny"
2. Quark and Rom, Objective: Bajor (*)
37. If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Source:
Nog, Arcade
39. Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
Source:
Rules
41. Profit is its own reward.
Source:
Rules
42. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Ben Sisko, Rebels #1: The Conquered
45. Ambition knows no family.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
46. Make your shop easy to find.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rivals"
2. Bractor, "The 34th Rule"
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. Odo, Saratoga
4. Star Trek on the Brain (*)
5. Picard, Preserver
49. Everything is worth something to somebody.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
50. Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
51. Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Source:
Bokat, Arcade
52. Never ask when you can take.
Source:
Quark, "Babel"
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum--treasure them.
Source:
Quark, "Armageddon Game"
58. There is no substitute for success.
Source:
Rules
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Odo, Saratoga
4. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-02
5. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-08
60. Keep your lies consistent.
Source:
Rules (*)
60. Let's you and him fight.
Sources:
1. Tunk, Balance of Power
2. Rom, "Four Funerals and a Wedding" (comic)
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Cardassian Imps
3. Quark, "Little Green Men"
4. Gronn, Celebrity Comic #1 (*)
5. Federation (*)
6. Gaila, "Business as Usual"
7. Quark, The 34th Rule
8. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
9. Lept, Preserver
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
Source:
Rules
65. Huyperian beetle snuff may be fun for you and me, but it's no fun for the beetles.
Source:
Zek, "Prophet Motive" (*)
68. Ear stroking will get you anything.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
72. Never trust your customers.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
73. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
74. Knowledge equals profit.
Source:
Barclay Hologram, "Inside Man"
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Civil Defense"
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
76. Every once in a while declare peace.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Homecoming"
2. Nog, Prisoners of Peace
3. Quark, The 34th Rule
77. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
78. When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Source:
Rules
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Source:
Rules
84. A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Source:
Rules
87. Learn the customer's weaknesses so you can better take advantage of him.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
87. A friend in need means three times the profit.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Source:
Rules
92. There are many paths to profit.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
93. Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
94. Females and finances don't mix.
Source:
1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
2. Quark and Nog, "Profit and Lace"
3. The Biology of Star Trek
95. Expand or die.
Source:
Kafar, "False Profits"
96. For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule (except when there's not).
Source:
Rules
97. Enough... is never enough.
Source:
Rules
97. If you can't take it with you, don't go.
Source:
A Nagus, _I, Q_
98. Every man has his price.
Sources:
1. Quark, "In the Pale Moonlight"
2. Quark, The 34th Rule
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Source:
Rules
100. If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
101. The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
102. Nature decays, but latinum is forever.
Source:
Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"
103. Sleep can interfere with... cut off?
Source:
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition" (*)
103. Fill a desperate need with your most expensive product, then mark it up 500%.
Source:
Rom, The Heart of the Warrior
104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
Source:
Rules
105. Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
106. There is no honor in poverty.
Source:
Rules
107. A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Source:
Quark, "Rivals"
111. Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them ruthlessly?.
Sources:
1. Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"
2. Worf, "The Darkness and the Light"
3. Add-on: Quark, Legends of the Ferengi
4. Zuntil, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-05-05
112. (Omitted)
Source:
Quark, "Playing God" (*)
113. (Omitted)
Source:
Rules (*)
115. The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
116. There's always a catch.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
119. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet. (Sometimes, good things come in small packages.)
Sources:
1. 'Rules of Netquisition' #1
2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Source:
Rules
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Source:
Quark, "The Siege of AR-558"
126. Count it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
127. Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
135. Never trust a beneficiary.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
139. Wives serve; brothers inherit.
Sources:
1. Odo, "Necessary Evil"
2. Odo, Saratoga
141. Only fools pay retail.
Source:
Rules
142. There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
143. Risk is part of the game--play it for all it's worth.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-05-01
146. Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
152. A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Source:
Quark, DS9 Comic #22
162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Rom, Wrath of the Prophets
168. Whisper your way to success.
Source:
Nog, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"
169. Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
171. Blood is thicker than water, and latinum is thicker than both.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
172. Chances aren't what they used to be.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
Source:
Rules
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Source:
Rules
184. not given?
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power (*)
188. A fool and his money is the best customer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Source:
Rules (*)
190. Hear all; trust nothing.
Source:
Nog, "Call to Arms"
191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Source:
Rules
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Whispers" (*)
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
200. If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
202. The justification of profit is profit.
Source:
Rules
203. New customers are like razor-backed Greeworms--they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!
Source:
Quark, "Little Green Men"
204. It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
Source:
Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success--don't hesitate to step on them.
Sources:
1. Grimp, "Bar Association"
2. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the Wedding of Doom" (comic)
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Sources:
Quark, "The Maquis, Part I"
The Federation Travel Guide
216. Never gamble with an empath.
Source:
Quark, The Laertian Gamble
217. You can't free a fish from water.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Past Tense, Part I" (*)
2. Lept, Preserver
218. Always know what you're buying.
Source:
Rules (*)
218. Always know the competition.
Source:
Odo, Gypsy World
218. Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
Source:
Quark, DS9 Comic #12: "Baby on Board"
219. Possession is 11/10 of the law.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"
3. The Biology of Star Trek
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Sources:
1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
2. Quark, "Four Funerals and a Wedding" (comic)
231. There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
236. You can't buy fate.
Source:
Rules
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Sources:
1. Gint, "Body Parts"
2. Picard, Preserver
242. More is good... all is better.
Source:
Rules
243. not given?
Sources:
1. Quark, "Profit and Loss"
2. Quark, Devil in the Sky
253. Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Source:
Star Trek on the Brain
255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
Source:
Rules
256. Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
260. Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Source:
Rules
262. A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
Source:
Rom, "Bar Association"
265. The customer is always right (...until you get their cash).
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
266. When in doubt, lie.
Source:
Rules
267. If you believe it, they believe it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
270. In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
273. Never trust a hardworking employee.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
277. Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Ben Sisko, Rebels #1: The Conquered
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Collaborator"
2. Quark, "The Sound of Her Voice"
3. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
4. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-04
285. A good deed is its own reward.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.
Source:
Quark, "The House of Quark" (*)
299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thanks them. (That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.)
Sources:
1. Neelix, "False Profits" (*)
2. Star Trek on the Brain
?. The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.
Source:
Nog, Stowaways
?. The greater (the) amount you are taking from someone, the greater the distraction must be.
Source:
Nog, Stowaways
?. A bargain usually isn't.
Source:
Jake, The Pet
?. One person's secret is another person's opportunity.
Source:
Quark, Devil in the Sky
?. The hand that holds the latinum may also hide a dagger.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
?. You can tell a great deal about a man from his shoes.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Time's an asset.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Your goods are now my goods.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Exploitation begins at home.
Source:
Arridor and the Sandalmaker, "False Profits"
?. When you see a good deal, jump on it.
Source:
Quark, Saratoga
?. A Ferengi without a head for business has no future.
Source:
Nog, Saratoga
?. Business is business, even among friends.
Source:
Odo, Saratoga
?. Everything has a price.
Source:
Pol, Federation
?. Ears open, eyes wide.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
?. Never believe anyone taller than you.
Source:
Zek, The 34th Rule
?. There's a Rule of Acquisition to cover everything, but that doesn't mean one's always got to be applied.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
?. It's better to live on one's feet than to die on one's knees.
Source:
Quark, Rebels #3: The Liberated
?. A good negotiation should be savored, like a good wine.
Source:
Shep, Double Helix #4: Quarantine
**. When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up. (The unwritten rule)
Example:
When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits,
kill the messenger. (Arridor, "False Profits")
Rules and sources were sent to me by Gul Dukat.
